Just For The Thrill.

People have mistakes written all over their body...

Maybe it was not my fault at all, maybe I did nothing wrong, maybe it was only you who made a decision with which you were familiar and repeated the process, just like turning on a computer everyday. You repeated the process because you were used to it. To end one more time, so you do not have to suffer by the hands of fear, so you do not have to wonder so much. The deadly weapon of wonder. 

Now, here I am, experiencing life as I never thought I would. Here I am analyzing you, feeling sorry for you because you are out of your mind, out of your heart, out of me. You are miserable, and happy for the wrong things, filling that emptiness of yours with "progress", with "correctness", and the most important, silly of them all, "peace." You are pretending to hate me for causing you distress, frustration and moroseness. 

Well, guess what? I may think way too much outside the box, always, always will... that´s why I anguished, that´s why I fell apart. I never stopped telling you this, never. I never stopped acknowledging you about those wretched but magnificent things about me. You were so lucky, for the reason that you touched what most people can´t touch. You were so lucky, on the grounds that you observed with me beyond the illusion, and weirdly, it felt more like a fairytale.

I did not enjoyed despair, I just liked to think in abstract monuments, as well as in many possibilities, possibilities creeping into me as an sticked idea that was not even mine. 

Oh , you were so lucky, brightened by the true colors of a broken, but perfect soul. 

You can convince yourself of million marvels, and that´s just fine if it helps you, but you know what? You could not convince yourself of one of the simpler and most resplendent things of them all... 

You were the exception. 

Now I reckon that you did not know yourself either.

It´s hard.

It´s hard to get out, it´s hard to get out of sadness, it´s hard to get out of what you think should never be disturbed. It´s hard to get out...

It´s hard to get out of that empty submarine, the submarine that drags you deep into its soul, so you sink deeper... and deeper until you find its entrails. Entrails that are more emptiness. Emptiness... which makes you weak, because you think that the submarine´s armor will be more than that someday, but it will never change.

It´s hard to get out, because you don´t know OUT, you just care about IN, and that suits you perfectly. 

It´s hard to get out of your house, it´s hard to see the world because your eyes are made of wood, and they will burn with the sun, your personal solar storm. 

It´s hard to get out of the past... black veils. It´s hard to feel for yourself, your hands are tied, your heart is broken...your youth is being aggressive... and it´s hard. You have sinked too much, but to you it´s just a little detour on your yellow roads. Yellow roads were meant to be walked, that´s the only truth you know, and still you take the red ones. Yes, it´s hard.

It´s hard to get out of your bed because it knows too many secrets, too may forbidden stories. These stories never fade, and they drag you to the submarine, your beautiful submarine. It´s hard to get out of that lonely notebook... lonely epistles. 

You feel desolated, people have told you that you are some kind of a Promised Land, but where are your inhabitants? Are there any more Promised Lands? Are they better than this one? Maybe it´s also hard for them to get out, yes... that must be the reason... I´ll wait for them in my submarine.

It´s hard to get out of moments, you got stuck in a moment for one month and your eyes have not seen the sun, but it´s good because you don´t want to be burned. No, you do not want that. 

It´s hard to get out of something you don´t know, something that does not feel right, still you don´t dare to blame the submarine. 

But you know what´s harder? To understand that you have to get out, and to realize that even submarines float, that you do not live at the bottom of the ocean...but it´s hard.

Odette.

Oh, poor Odette,

Slowly fading into the atmosphere 
while they see with precarious souls. 

Oh, Odette, 
Let me get rid of them, my fire is for you
The mountains are for you,
My mansion is for you

Don´t let them eat you 
For I shall be eaten too,
Don´t let them infiltrate
The vast universe 
We have built for ourselves

Oh, Odette, look at them
They are unfortunate events,
Show them no more than pity
And break free.

Own the sky Odette, 
Own it all and beyond
Hold my fire, 
For this fire will be your sword
The one sword no one could ever defeat

Oh, Odette, look at you
So gorgeous...
So agile!
So superstitious that your 
Own heart becomes bad luck

Look at me!
Don´t blink!
I´m overwhelmed with your kindness
Overwhelmed with your
Fairy tales, be my heroine...

Oh, Odette, 
You deserve such happiness!
Tell them to run!
I´ll keep them near enough to 
Let them know we have power
Over their precarious souls.

This ocean of adventure
Will be your home...
Odette...
Hurry up and come back, 
Come down from the atmosphere
For I offer you fresh air...

Odette, please no!
What are you doing?
Do not dissipate your beliefs,
Show yourself your motivation
Let your kingdom rise

The Forest is going to be greener
Wait and see, winter is almost over
As well as the coldness in your spirit
I can feel it...

Oh, poor Odette,
Living in the wrong planet
Missing old morals
Hiding behind a hazel past
Occupying a place too little for you.